Love, Marriage, and the Church

Let’s say there’s an upwardly mobile couple living in a big city. One works as a successful sales executive, the other is a high-level administrator with the state government. They love each other. They didn’t just fall in love, either. They’ve really been through some trials–times when it would have been easier to walk away–but they are resolved to make the relationship work. They put their money together, and moved in to a spacious home downtown by the water. They pay taxes and vote; neither of them has ever been in trouble with the law. There’s no emotional or physical abuse to speak of in the household. It’s just a hard-working, God-fearing partnership. They want to get married and adopt a child or 2 out of the thousands in the city’s foster system. When these two hypothetical women approach their pastor to perform the wedding ceremony, what will the pastor say?

“God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve” This popular saying represents the argument that men and women complement one another in a truly divine manner. Heterosexual sex could only have been designed by God. Adam and Steve (or Madam and Eve) are going against the natural order of things. It must be wrong, because if everyone chose to be that way, no more children would be born, and society would be kaput in 100 years. This is a popular theological opinion.

The following are some theological facts about Adam and Steve:

1.  Adam and Steve are humans created in God’s image.
2.  Adam and Steve receive unconditional love from God and deserve the same from people.
3.  Adam and Steve have unique God-given gifts that, when exercised, make the world a better place.
4.  Adam and Steve are doing their best right now.
5.  God, the all-knowing creator of the universe, made Adam and Steve.

There are verses in the Old and New Testaments that state homosexuality is an abomination. I have read some passages that show that gay sex was one of many things frowned upon by the biblical authors.

I’m not arguing whether or not being gay is a sin–call it what you want. If you do call it a sin, it’s one solitary sin on a long list of sins that have been committed throughout history up to this present day. You may not be guilty of that particular sin, but unless you are innocent of the entire list, you are at best a sinner saved by grace. No aspect of God’s grace is ever denied you.

 Do we want to deny God’s grace to the sinner? If we’re going to deny people any rights or privileges membership in the body of Christ, we might as well kick all of the sinners out of the church.

Why do I care? I love everyone and feel we deserve the same rights. I guess I’ll have to deal with the consequences of that way of thinking.


6 responses to “Love, Marriage, and the Church

  1. I like your way of looking at things, Seth Pickens! Yes, we do tend to blow the “gay sin” way out of proportion in regards to other sins. And everything you say about “Adam and Steve” is true.

  2. “My Dear Children,

    It WAS Adam and Steve, not Adam and Eve. That’s what you get for letting a man translate.



  3. Another argument might go something like this:
    Lets presume that homosexuality is a sin. How do we deal with such a fact without violating the Golden Rule? I certainly wouldn’t want someone else telling me who I can and cannot love. I wouldn’t want someone else trying to control my sex life. Despite the presumption that homosexuality is a sin, it doesn’t violate the Golden Rule if it is consensual – so you cannot claim to be protecting anyone…

    The only way someone can find away to deal with homosexuality in a manner that does not violate the Golden Rule is to respect that person’s choice.

    … Then again, I don’t believe that homosexuality is a sin, so perhaps I bias. 😉


  4. I really enjoyed reading this article. I am so very tired of hearing about homosexuality being a sin and having people use the church to bash gays. It is rediculous. NO one should be able to dictate who a person loves and how far their relationship is permited to go.
    It is wonderful to have found something arguing FOR homosexuals based on religious bias.
    Great job!

  5. My name is Meg Ashworth and I am currently working on the marketing campaign for Denise Jackson’s (wife of Alan Jackson) new book It’s All About Him: Finding the Love of My Life. This winter, this book and its message has been seen in Country Weekly Magazine, Country Music People, Christianity Today, Today’s Christian Woman, Christian Reader among others. This book holds a powerful message about the restoration of marriage and is igniting discussion everywhere about the power of love.

    I am sharing all of this with you because you are the creator of a strong and popular blog and you truly stand as a source of inspiration for women and marriages.

    I would love to send you a complimentary copy of It’s All About Him, in hopes that you would first enjoy the book, and secondly champion the message on your site and open up the channels of discussion. In addition, if you would like, we can send you banner ads or free copies of the book to give away on your site.

    I would be happy to answer any questions as well as provide any details about the book and Jackson’s message. Thank you for the time and if you would indeed enjoy a copy, please reply with your mailing address.

    Meg Ashworth

  6. Pingback: More on Gay Marriage « How I Got Over

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